Posts tagged ‘maintain relationships’
Hub First. Spoke Later.
Maribeth Kuzmeski, marketing guru and author of The Connectors, recently encapsulated one of the many keys to being an effective relationship builder in her blog post, Do the opposite of what others are doing. She advises, “If you build a relationship with someone they could become a great advocate for you. So, it’s really not about who you meet in your networking activities – it’s about who they know. It’s about building a relationship based on trust and credibility and having your advocates do the selling for you.”
It is a fact that everyone you meet is similar to a “hub” that “spokes” out to numerous other people. But if you’re in business development of any kind, you’ll save time and ensure you meet your goals if you recognize this “hub” is the foremost important relationship to you, and the individual spokes are secondary. However, the collective “spokes”, or all the people that person knows, is usually ultimately more valuable to you in business.
I know it’s hard to believe, but most of your business relationships are not interested in you relative to their own self interests. OK, I know, you’re shocked. But amazingly enough, I observe way too many people push their own interests on a new “hub” before trying to build a true relationship. If you’re too pushy and don’t focus on building a relationship with people and genuinely help them achieve their goals first, they’ll have little desire to help you achieve your goals. Most people, except for people who are truly skilled in relationships, don’t understand this and are too wrapped up in their own self interests.
Some of you won’t like to hear that this takes patience, yet that is a fact that can’t be denied. The cliché “it takes years to build a reputation and < 5 minutes to destroy it” is true. Plus, one of the worst things you can do is keep a mental “scoreboard” of the favors you to do others while waiting for a favor from them in return. It is one thing if they don’t appreciate your efforts, but remember, numerous people have done you favors – most of which you may never know about. You have no clue how many of your relationships have told someone else when you’re not around that you’re a quality person with whom they should do business. If you’re always looking out for yourself and not trying to help others, you’ll soon find yourself on “referral island” because you’ve voted yourself off due to your own actions.
Pay it Forward
On his Harvard Business Blog, Tom Davenport recently wrote a post about how “Forwarding is the New Networking”. This is a great observation and should be a core weekly activity of anyone in business development including business or non-profit fund raising of any kind. It gives you not only relevant (as opposed to awkward) reason to touch others so they keep you in mind, but also helps reinforce your reputation as someone who is thoughtful and considerate of others – so long as you are truly sincere about it, which will pay benefits in areas you can’t even imagine down the line.
I first learned this skill from my dad who would tear out articles in newspapers such as the Wall Street Journal or magazines like Fortune or Forbes, add a short personal note, and mail them to business colleagues who he believed would be interested. Some were humorous and some strictly business, but they all were part of his core being – always thinking about how he could add value to someone.
Mailing a tear-out of a magazine or newspaper article is still the best way to go as it adds a personal touch; in an increasingly impersonal and digital world, this will help you stand out. Second to that is to find the full article, paste it in an email (along with the link) and forward it on with a personal note to those who might be interested. Don’t forward it to a bunch of folks at once. You don’t want to be on mass emails so don’t do it to others. Do it individually, or in logical groups, to keep it personal. Try it and be patient. People will be thankful to you for sending something that adds value to their day.
